Firstly, apologies for the delay in posting this.  Had I survived day one there would have been a brief report at the end of each day including pertinent hands.  As it was I busted in level 5 of day one and needed some time to reflect on what had happened.  Fidning spare time while here is also a challenge and I *deserve* a holiday dammit ;)

So some of the hands that I remember.  

1st hand I’m in the SB – Shannon Shorr raises 3x in the co and I RR to 10x.  He folds.  I show 32s.  I’m usually anti-showing in tournaments but I just felt like playing a little crazy and getting some action so I decided to show every bluff in the first level and to attempt many. Just chipping up slowly is usually preferable but I liked my table (Shannon Shorr to my immediate right and Wendall Barnes to his immediate right – soft spots everywhere else) and wanted to play a lot of pots before I got moved to a tough table (of which there were many with the cream of pokerstars tourney players showing en masse).

50/100 Shannon Shorr raised 3x in the co and I called with KTo.  The flop came down 876 and I checked my gutshot behind.  The turn was a 2. He fired 500 and I made it 1800.  He called.  River 3.  Shannon checks and I throw in a $5k chip.  He takes off his ipod saying “this is so sick.  I thought you were bluffing on the turn.  You have either 88 or 66 and I can beat one of them.” He’s thinking for about 4 minutes before he makes a very reluctant call.  77 at the very top of the range I put him on but as he came close to folding I’m happy with the hand.  If he’d had most of the other hands in his range I’d have taken the pot.  The bluff showing bites me quickly, but I have plenty of chips to work with still ending the level with 12k.  After the break I’m quickly up to 30k by taking down small pots. 

100/200 I raise to 600 utg+1 53 spades.  Button calls.  Flop AJ4.  I fire 800 he calls.  Turn 9.  I fire 3k he shakes his head and folds.

I had about 27k and close to a table break when I raised QTs in emp.  The big blind (who was on the rush of his life hitting everything) calls.  flop QJ3.  I bet half the pot and he calls.  Turn A.  I check behind for pot control.  River 9 and he bets 5k.  I’d planned to insta-call but find myself spending some time thinking.  I really hate the 9 but I’m not sure why.  J9, T8, Q9 are all possible but I can’t fold for fear of him hitting something crazy again.  I decide I have to call – I played it to induce the bluff and would he really bet a weak ace into me here? I call and he flips 99.  I’m down to 17k and the table breaks.  I’m not happy.

I’m moved into Bax’s cursed seat with Humberto to my left and David Williams to his left.  McEvoy is across from me. Williams cripples Humberto then Tom outraces him.  We’re playing 8 handed – 200/400 50  I open limp the button with KJs knowing David will raise with his 70k stack from the SB.  He throws in 2k and I instapush.  He flashes me a deuce and folds.  From EP I raise to 1100 with 65s – David calls.  I hate the Q94r flop and check.  It hits most of his hands somehow and if I cont bet he’ll float anyway – I’m surprised when David checks behind.  The turn is a 2s putting the spade draw out.  I have 22k and check.  David bets 3300 and I checkraise to 10k.  He calls quickly.  I’m intending to instapush any river except a 3,5 or 6 which I would check-call.  River is a red 7.  Suddenly I get the horrible feeling that he has a 9 and will call me.  As my all-in is small in relation the pot now but I would still have over 10M and am good at playing short stacks I hesitate unsure of what to do.  WIth my hesitation I lose all fold equity if he does hold a 9.  I feel a little sick at this point.  eventually I check, David immediately moves a tower of chips into the centre and I pause 10 seconds or so before folding.  He shows T6s to complete my horror. 

This has happened a couple of times lately.  A loss of heart partway through a hand.  It’a huge leak when playing at these stakes.  It’s a common problem but should be unforgivable for a professional.  So the question I’ve been asking myself is why the loss of concentration/heart?  I certainly didn’t build my roll by playing gutless poker.  And as I asked myself I caught a glimpse in the mirror of my rounding stomach.  With success I’ve become comfortable and used to good living. I don’t exercise, my diet is horrible and I drink too much.  Or rather it was and I did. Because I’m still hungry for more and greater poker success.  So I’ve effected some immediate dietary changes and more gradual fitness ones.  The 65 hand should have been a defining moment in my poker career and given me a stack to build towards the FT.  Instead I choked the hand.  And (after losing a race to a short stack) got bounced from the tournament by Tom McEvoy. 

There was a lot in my early and middle play that I’m happy with.  There were stretches where I was in complete control.  But that’s all meaningless if I have patches where I’m not really there.  Especially if they occur in the middle of huge hands against great players.  I’ll address the lessons I learned here and next time I play a major event and the right opportunity arises I’m confident I’ll pull the trigger.